I shared some time ago, early on in our three year journey, telling you of my husband’s battle with prostate cancer (see link below). Throughout this experience, though there have been days of exhaustion and emotional challenge, I stand continually amazed by the Father’s care and provision. When my strength and countenance were challenged, His supply and faithful care uplifted me. When rest was the need of the day, peace and ability to do so has been there. God’s provision and Presence is remarkable.
My husband is the director of the welding program at our local college. Diagnosed at stage four and now stage five, by the grace of God, he has worked throughout this entire ordeal. We can count on one to two hands the number of sick days he has taken. God faithfully sustains him.
Drawing near the end of the summer semester, he finally retired with commitment to stay just long enough to train his replacement. It was none too soon for me, as I could tell that my body was at a limit in its ability to function. Relief was in sight. I was ready, and excited.
Problem? All along he has trained someone to take his position, with plans to hire someone for a lower position, but that fell through, practically at the last minute; so the school hustled to find someone. Problem? The person found can’t start for two to four months. My husband’s commitment to the welfare of the program kicked in and he committed to try to hold the fort until his replacement comes.
Now, I trust the Lord and know He is at work in all of this, but I’ve realized lately that something in my thinking and emotional state snapped at the change of semesters. It has really put a kink in my role in this journey we are on. It is challenging my ability to function. It has also laid me out in the lap of my God. I am absolutely, deeply beyond my own strength and ability. Even my ability to think and “feel” right is challenged. Only by the grace of God am I moving in these days.
But here’s the thing! A brokenness seen is a problem solved when seen through the eyes of our loving God. He is my rest, my strength, my hiding place. Nothing has changed where hope and faith and strength in God is concerned. He is not surprised or caught off guard. He is still with me and He will see this cracked pot through.
The exciting thing about a cracked vessel is more openings for the light of God to shine through, new areas for Living Water to pour out through. God doesn’t throw cracked pots out. He simply refurbishes them, putting them to use in new, creative ways of service. With that understanding in heart, I pray, may it be so, to the glory of God who makes me whole.
Hang in there with me, Beloved. Let’s shine that Light and spill that Water everywhere we go. Even from our weary soul, the Lord be glorified!
Darlene's Ponderings 