Are you in a season of struggle as I am?
I am in the deepest pit of oppressive despair as I have ever been in. Struggling in my health with issues that seem beyond my control; challenged daily with lack of energy to function because my internal clock is dysfunctional due to changes in our lifestyle that seem beyond me to fix; grieving as never before over a parent whose fear and paranoia is destroying his relationships; I could go on but you get the drift that all of life right now seems to be working to sap my strength and bring me into a depressed state of mind, draining of energy to function. And from the stories of other Christians I hear from daily, I am not alone.
I keep thinking, “If I will just love and care more for others, I will be able to do more.” But I do love deeply and I do care, yet I continue to struggle. Then I think, “Maybe I am in the wrong place. Perhaps I need a new church or a new job.” As I consider that, I know that though those things may be true, they are not THE ANSWER. We can run from one place to another, but our baggage always goes with us, and we often find ourselves in the same or worse, leading us to run again.
After considering these things and many others, I finally say, “Lord, I can do nothing apart from You. What is Your opinion?” And He graciously answers as I read, “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He wakens Me morning by morning, He wakens My ear to hear as a disciple [as one who is taught]” (Isaiah 50:4, AMP).
I will have no need to fret over my love-walk as long as I seek first Him who teaches my heart to love. I will have no worry about where I need to be and what I need to do in any given day as long as I answer the call to awaken and seek Him first morning by morning. I cannot have love and care apart from Him, so seeking Him for the filling of His Spirit is the answer to love and care. Chasing hard after Him in each day has me ready where I am needed with a word, a hug, a ministry in due season.
It is not about “I”. “I” can do nothing apart from God. But with Him, all things are possible for me, for nothing shall be impossible with God.
Father, help me to seek You first and foremost, early, while You may be found, so I am made adequate as Your servant, empowered and equipped for the challenge of each day, filled up to the full with You who make me able. In Jesus, I surrender all anew, knowing that YOU are THE ANSWER. Amen.
Darlene's Ponderings 
I am certainly glad you stumbled on Shadows; it lead me to you! I can imagine we may just have a few things in common.
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Thanks, Debbie. I look forward to getting acquainted and finding out what it is we might have in common. Blessings, Darlene
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Carrolyn, you continue to be in my prayers. By His grace we will both get through this season of life. Blessings. Love to you and yours, Darlene
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Thank for letting me know your problems. It has helped me to deal with having to deal with Mother and Daddy’s health to only end in death. The constant traveling to and from Irving has left me tired and weary. I am slowly gaining back my energy.
It is helpful to know that I am doing the right thing in trying to gain my wits about me again.
The thing that has helped me the most, is just to do what I can and let the rest go until the next day. The most important thing that has helped is running to God’s Word and letting Him bath my heart with encouragment, His way of comforting me.
When I would think of losing Mother and Daddy, I would start thanking Him that Mother and Daddy are in Heaven and that would get to see them again. I would thank Him for other blessings. It would bless my soul to see that the things that He has done for me.
I hope and pray that God will continue to work in your’s and my life to bring us to be ready to see Him when He finally calls us home.
Carrolyn
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