Are you in a season of struggle as I am?
I am in the deepest pit of oppressive despair as I have ever been in. Struggling in my health with issues that seem beyond my control; challenged daily with lack of energy to function because my internal clock is dysfunctional due to changes in our lifestyle that seem beyond me to fix; grieving as never before over a parent whose fear and paranoia is destroying his relationships; I could go on but you get the drift that all of life right now seems to be working to sap my strength and bring me into a depressed state of mind, draining of energy to function. And from the stories of other Christians I hear from daily, I am not alone.
I keep thinking, “If I will just love and care more for others, I will be able to do more.” But I do love deeply and I do care, yet I continue to struggle. Then I think, “Maybe I am in the wrong place. Perhaps I need a new church or a new job.” As I consider that, I know that though those things may be true, they are not THE ANSWER. We can run from one place to another, but our baggage always goes with us, and we often find ourselves in the same or worse, leading us to run again.
After considering these things and many others, I finally say, “Lord, I can do nothing apart from You. What is Your opinion?” And He graciously answers as I read, “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is taught, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He wakens Me morning by morning, He wakens My ear to hear as a disciple [as one who is taught]” (Isaiah 50:4, AMP).
I will have no need to fret over my love-walk as long as I seek first Him who teaches my heart to love. I will have no worry about where I need to be and what I need to do in any given day as long as I answer the call to awaken and seek Him first morning by morning. I cannot have love and care apart from Him, so seeking Him for the filling of His Spirit is the answer to love and care. Chasing hard after Him in each day has me ready where I am needed with a word, a hug, a ministry in due season.
It is not about “I”. “I” can do nothing apart from God. But with Him, all things are possible for me, for nothing shall be impossible with God.
Father, help me to seek You first and foremost, early, while You may be found, so I am made adequate as Your servant, empowered and equipped for the challenge of each day, filled up to the full with You who make me able. In Jesus, I surrender all anew, knowing that YOU are THE ANSWER. Amen.