Principle 3, the third K – Know who you are and who you want to be:

You know, we cannot be our best self if we do not know who that is, and we cannot become more of what we want to be if we do not know where we are now and how we need to change and grow. Now is the time to begin understanding who you are, who you want to be, and how to discern where work and growth are needed.

Sit down with a pen and pad or Word.doc and write down the following things you see about yourself: what your strengths are; what your weaknesses are; your talents and abilities; your struggles and areas of your personality that leave you open to temptation. Now answer the following: When you die, 150 years from now J, what will you want people to say was true about you, and you be able to know that it was true? Write down the things you want to be true about you. Then ask yourself, “If they set pedestals up center stage at my funeral, displaying things on them that depict things of life that are most important to me, what do I want to be best known as important in my life?”

Too many times I have left funerals after hearing all kinds of good things about someone only to hear another leaving the funeral saying something like, “Were we at the right funeral? I never saw any of those good things in that person. Who were they talking about?” You have to decide now the kind of person you want to be, the character traits you want to be known for, and begin now to be that person, known for the things that are truly important to you.

The place to begin your search for character traits worth having is with God and His word. Some passages to consider in scripture that may help are Galatians 5 (especially verses 22-23); Romans 12; Philippians 1-4, Colossians 3.

Continuing on with the thought of self-discovery, answer the following:

What are things about you that you like and want to protect (example: loving others, caring about others, sexually pure until marriage, not addicted to wine or any other substance, etc.)?

What are things about you that keep you from being the best person you can be (stubborn, know-it-all attitude, unbelieving of the things of God, unteachable, resistant to change, manipulative, mean spirited, etc.)? Be real with yourself and real with God. It is often recommended to ask others what they see as your strengths and weaknesses, as we often times are too easy or too hard on ourselves.

Now that you have a picture of the person you are and who you want to be, it is time to plot the course to becoming that person. That means you have to set up some “do’s and don’ts” for life. Looking at all the things you see that are good about you and all the good traits you want to develop, answer the following:

What must you consistently do in being and becoming the person you want to be?

And what must be avoided at all costs – those things that would destroy your goal of becoming the person you want to be?

I would suggest doing a self-collage: a poster of pictures and sayings, words or scriptures that depict the person you want to be known as. Place it where you can see it and be challenged every day to be that person. Realize that as you grow and mature, you will need to re-answer all these things and update your collage. Mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity changes how we see ourselves and our goals for who we want to be.