“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your OWN husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” – 1 Peter 3:1-6 NASB1995

I’m so grateful God used this passage in teaching me and growing me as a wife for Johnny. It made for a harmonious, happy, peaceful marriage of 47 beautiful years, until death. In understanding it, however, one must look back and see what is to be done “in the same way.”

“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.” – 1 Peter 2:13-25 NASB1995

There is a hierarchy in God’s order of things, all of which mimics the hierarchy of God’s Kingdom. Marriage mimics the relationship between God and Jesus. Family mimics the relationship between God, Jesus, and the church. When we learn to live God’s hierarchal principles, marriage and family function well.

Jesus had a voice and authority in His relationship with the Father, given Him by God, but He always bowed to the Fathers will in life, seeking one purpose with Him. He never overstepped His authority with the Father in disrespect of Father’s right as Godhead. He always died to self-will in order to accomplish God’s will.

Like Jesus, the wife has a voice and authority in her marital relationship. When she learns quiet, respectful ways with her husband, her influence will be great. But when the husband says, “This is the way, walk in it,” she is to let go of self-interest and self-will to follow her husband. The only exclusion to the rule is God’s law, when we must bow to the Godhead. If the way of the husband – or wife – leads to sin against God, we have a right to refuse to follow. Husband and wife follow God first. If both are following God, Kingdom purpose and God’s will will prevail.

The way the wife bows to the husband is first to bow to God. Trust God to lead the heart of the husband, and watch while He leads the way. I was set in awe of God many times by following this simple rule. Gently plant a seed of suggestion in your man’s mind, then be quiet and let him think on it while you pray God’s will. Once he decides the path, follow him.

“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” – 1 Peter 3:7-9 NASB1995

“In the same way” takes the husband back to our chapter 2 passage to learn the role, attitude, and caring responsibility of the husband. That is followed by instruction for all who strive to work life within the hierarchical values of the Godhead.

“For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days, Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; He must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, And His ears attend to their prayer, But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”” – 1 Peter 3:10-12 NASB1995

This is the way, Husbands and Wives. Walk ye in it. And when discord comes, seeing one leading or living in opposition to the Godhead, remember:

“Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison, who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water. Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.” – 1 Peter 3:13-22 NASB1995

“Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.” – 1 Peter 4:1-2 NASB1995