Father calls his people to love, wholeheartedly, unconditionally, and compassionately. Recently, He inspired by the power of the Spirit in me, an understanding that I was failing to fully love someone because I am failing to recognize any value in them. When I see only the things that frustrate me in them: their faults, flaws, annoying habits, or past sins, making me unable to give focus to the good that is in them, love actions toward them become burdensome.

It is difficult at best to have love for those we fail to value. It is near impossible to truly care for, and fully trust them. So what’s the solution.

One: forgive the past for my own sake, following the example of God in Isaiah 43:25 and John 3:16. It hurts me to hold unforgiveness, keeping me from being able to rightly, truly, and justly give love and care that honors God. So for my sake in protecting self from bitterness, hate, and other unloving, self-destructive attributes, I must choose to forgive and refuse to hold a grudge.

Two: adjust my focus. God tells us how to rightly think so we can walk in peace with God, self, and others.

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.” – Philippians 4:8-9 NKJV

Think on — the true:

Is the person the same as when they hurt you or are they different? Do they mean to harm, or are they acting out of their own hurt from days gone by? We are all wounded souls, sin sick and war torn. We all need the healing balm of Christ, the Savior. See the truth of their need and your own. See the truth of the Savior. “What would Jesus do?” is a legitimate truth to discern.

— the noble:

One who is noble possesses or shows qualities of high moral character, such as courage, generosity, or honor. Being truthful in your evaluation of another, do you see any such qualities? We must be watchful for every sign of nobility and focus on those attributes in our love toward others. While we are at it, are we practicing such noble traits toward those around us? Be careful of picking at other people’s splinters while ignoring one’s own logs. Too often the things we see to dislike in others is a reflection of what we hate in ourselves.

— the just

Are we being just in our focus? Often I find people’s behavior toward me is a response to some perceived insult from my words or actions toward them. Tiredness, the concerns of this world, miscommunication, and more can effect our actions and reactions in word and deed toward others without our realizing it. Many other times the response I receive from another has nothing to do with me. Some thing they are troubled with in some unrelated area of their lives may hit me as I inadvertently get in the path of their frustration. Seeking to discern truth in a situation leads to just assessment and the ability to clear the air with a more comprehensive understanding.

— the good — the lovely — the good report — their virtues — anything praiseworthy

All these points for the focus of our thoughts and opinion of those we are called to love are vital to our ability to value them. Meditate on these things; practice these attributes in relationships. Focus on these things worthy of value in one to another will work God’s peace in our relationships and strengthen our love walk.