“He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” – Proverbs 13:24

A shepherd’s rod and the parental rod are not far removed from each other. The rod/staff of a shepherd has two ends, often with one end crooked. The straight end is mainly used to beat off predators, though it may also be used to tap the haunches, turning a sheep to the correct way. The staff end is used to grab a lamb and pull it away from trouble, or closer in for protection and the building of a loving relationship.

All of these methods of discipline are important in raising children.

There are times they need their bottoms swatted. Especially younger children who only understand “now” and need a method of training that quickly links correction with unacceptable actions.

There are times we must get between our children and the dangers they too readily run headlong into.

And there are times we have to grab them and pull them back from harms way, closer in to protective custody and loving care.

In each case it is vital the discipline includes instruction in righteousness. We get tired of our children asking why, but they need the whys and wherefores if they are to learn truth, righteousness, and consequences. Even if the why is to tell them they wouldn’t understand the reason right now, but will eventually, and they need to trust you have good reason.

God doesn’t always tell us the whys and wherefores, so teaching children to trust is a vital part of training in discipline. That means we must prove trustworthy and train our children to know they can trust the God we faithfully follow as we raise them.

As I look into the defining parameters of a rod today, there’s another aspect of the “rod” that is vital. The rod is also defined as a symbol of authority.

There’s a saying that goes like this, “Rules without relationship breeds rebellion.”

This is true. Being hard, harsh, and pressing with our kids without including an attitude of loving care, produces an anger in them that God warns against (Ephesians 6:4). Rebellion is likened to divination, insubordination, and idolatry in scripture. It is the sin that lost Saul the throne (1 Samuel 15:23). When parents cause a rebellious heart to develop in their children, it most often delivers a citizen into the world who fights authority at every level of life.

However, relationship without rules breeds inordinate self-regard, to our children, producing in them varying levels of narcissism: making for extremes of self reliance, conceit, and a lack of compassion toward and ability to work with others. It does not teach the importance of working under authority, failing to prepare the child for a future that finds authority figures around every corner.

We need to grow a loving relationship with our kids that hears their hearts, deals with them appropriately, and teaches them to be good citizens of God in a world of rules. If we do not teach them to follow authority while they are young, they will have difficulty following God when they are old. God is the ultimate authority. We have no sense of covenant with God without exemplary, parental authority following Him. Without faith to trust God, following close under His authority, we cannot please Him.

The rod of authority is a vital instrument in the hands of the parent. Both ends of that rod includes and flows from the word of God. Any discipline we give our children should point to God and His rule found in His word. It should lead the children to love God and desire to please Him. The word of God is a living and active sword that cuts deep into the heart and soul of the child to help them become the best person they can possibly be.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-27; Hebrews 4:12).

This requires parents to be students of the Word. We cannot rightly teach what we do not know. The role of parents is to raise up children who will be a profitable member of society. As Christians, we are to raise up citizens of the Kingdom of God, who know and follow Him in Christlikeness, being people of God that are adequately equipped for every good work opportunity He brings their way. Good Kingdom citizens make good citizens on earth, following first God’s authority, honoring parents, and knowing how to follow those authorities set up on earth.

The rod of discipline is a vital tool in our parental arsenal as we fight for our kids to be all God created them to be, protecting them from a world of evil. The rod of discipline couples with love for the good of the child and the glory of God.