Always Remember Me

“I appreciate and commend you because you always remember me in everything and keep firm possession of the traditions (the substance of my instructions), just as I have [verbally] passed them on to you.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭11:2‬ ‭AMPC‬‬)

Our 1 Corinthians verse is Paul, speaking of his appreciation for the Corinthians church and their respect for him as a leader in the church. They always think of him and his teachings so as to give honor to him as their leading model by following his instruction and example.

The verses before this one reveal this truth:

“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I DON’T JUST DO WHAT IS BEST FOR ME; I DO WHAT IS BEST FOR OTHERS SO THAT many may be saved. And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:31-34‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

The hierarchy of the church and the hierarchy of the family are alike. The heads of each are supposed to be leading examples of Christlikeness. They set the tone and give direction to the rest of the body.

As I read the words of Paul in chapter 11, verse two, I thought, “That is the desire of every man and woman in their mate. They want to be appreciated. They want the things that are important to them to be in the considerations of the other.”

I.e.: a husband who sees as important their preparation for the future, such as saving for retirement, appreciate’s when his wife is frugal and thoughtful in the way she handles household finances because she understands his need and desire and has adopted it as her own. At the same time, the wife appreciates when her husband remembers their now needs and does not focus so much on future planning that he cuts them short on their needs or does away with all present life comforts.

Just as the church should be unified in working together toward common goals, so should the family. It requires that we always keep each other in mind and heart so our decisions help the function of the whole. Each realizes that what one does effects the reputation and life journey of all others in that family body. For this to occur, communication is vital. Look at Paul’s words again.

“I appreciate and commend you because you ALWAYS REMEMBER ME in everything and KEEP FIRM POSSESSION OF the traditions (THE SUBSTANCE OF MY INSTRUCTIONS), just AS I HAVE [VERBALLY] PASSED THEM ON TO YOU.”

In the family, this communication is not just statements that proclaim my way as law. It is a discussion that comes to common understanding. In the example above, the husband instructs the wife on his intent to make sure they have a retirement portfolio that will provide for their elder years. The wife agrees with her husband’s lead and intent, but should feel free to express her concern that present life needs and reasonable comforts not be neglected. Together they come to an understanding of the plan and the need to work together toward a common goal: they possess the goal, each considering the sensibilities of the other, consulting together often on big needs and changes made, as they do their part in bringing their goals to pass.

When we achieve such unity of heart, mind, and purpose, what joy it is as we walk it out together.

Also read 1 Corinthians 10:1-11:2.

Great is Your Faithfulness

“The LORD ’ S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations‬ ‭3:22-23‬ ‭NASB‬‬)

As God is with us, so we are to be with our mates. Trust is vital to this BLESSed union.

Faithfulness begins with our thoughts toward each other. I have found with my husband that his every decision considers its effect on my life and future. He has long worked to set things up so that, if he goes Home to our Lord first, I am provided for and protected. I try to do the same for him.

Directing our thoughts to keep our mates in their rightful position in our lives and to establish and secure their futures is vital. It goes beyond keeping ourselves for them, alone. It considers their every need and our role in meeting it. This goes for you who are single, awaiting the revelation of your life partner from God. Your faithfulness to that mate starts now as you keep yourself for your future mate and do all you can to prepare a place and a future for that union.

Do an inventory of your faithfulness toward your mate, Love. Where do you need to adjust your thoughts and actions so as to increase faithfulness to them?

Value Your Mate

“For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:5-6 NASB)

It has long been recognized that a man’s greatest need from wife and children is respect and honor. A woman’s greatest need is affectionate love and a sense of security. And both need a sense of value. I believe that is why Peter calls women to an attitude of submission that trusts God’s use of her husband in his care for wife and family, not giving herself to fear, but praying for him. And, men, your wife’s need is why Paul speaks his instruction to you in Ephesians 5.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her…. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but NOURISHES and CHERISHES it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.” (Ephesians 5:25-30 NASB)

To cherish your wife is to value her. One very important way you value her is by listening to her counsel and considering her opinions. It is much easier for a woman to respect and follow the lead of her man when he helps her know her opinion is important, valued, and added to the basis for important decisions.

I cannot tell you the times my husband has let me know that my opinion helped him adjust course to a better decision. And there have been times he has changed my understanding or took a course of action I quickly saw was the better path choice. We work as one with God leading the way and it has grown a strong trust between us.

So, wives, we walk without fear by trusting God to direct our husbands, even if that direction goes against our opinion. Remember, your faith is in God, trusting Him to lead your man; and your prayers and encouragement should resource his success as a spiritual leader of your family.

A nurturing husband not only feeds his wife the affection, love, and appreciation she needs, but it also means to help your wife become her best and most productive self: helping her achieve goals that grow strength and ability in her, making her a capable person, secure and equipped for life. It does not keep her out of the loop, but makes sure she knows what is going on and why, so if anything happens to you, she can carry on in confidence.

In reality – though true, godly love flows unconditionally from who we are and respect is expected to be given as unto the Lord, these must flow freely both directions to work properly. The wife is not commanded to love her husband because the act of love comes easier to the female species. A man is not commanded to respect the wife, because respect is more readily expected and given as protocol by the male species. But both male and female need and desire love, respect, security, and to be valued.

Determine today, Beloved, to lift one another up through these practices toward each other and enjoy a strong marriage that will last forever and glorify God. If, however, your mate is not as God intends toward you, your concern is to be the mate God wants you to be while praying for your mate to be His ideal toward you. Don’t set your sites on your ideal (what you think that should look like), but God’s, asking Him for eyes to recognize His answers to your relational needs. Like me, you may well be amazed at the glory you find in your mate.

(1 Peter 3:1-2, 7-9 NASB)

Perfect Love

“… We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. …” (‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:14-21‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Perfect love casts out fear. My God loves me so much, He made The Way for me to come to Him boldly, as a child bursts through to reach her daddy. Through Christ, this sinner made clean can approach His throne and touch the Holy of Holies. I am safe in God’s love.

In like fashion, my husband has loved me so much that he has put me at ease with him. I don’t fear coming to him with anything, because his love for me has proven me safe with him over and over again. I never had to hide clothing purchases, fear telling him of things going on in my life, or feel he would stay mad at me forever, because he made his love safe for me. And I believe he feels the same safety net in my love for him.

Love. God is love; and marriage is the first place where that image of God should be visible in life.