Category Archives: Act of Marriage

Always Remember Me

“I appreciate and commend you because you always remember me in everything and keep firm possession of the traditions (the substance of my instructions), just as I have [verbally] passed them on to you.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭11:2‬ ‭AMPC‬‬)

Our 1 Corinthians verse is Paul, speaking of his appreciation for the Corinthians church and their respect for him as a leader in the church. They always think of him and his teachings so as to give honor to him as their leading model by following his instruction and example.

The verses before this one reveal this truth:

“So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I DON’T JUST DO WHAT IS BEST FOR ME; I DO WHAT IS BEST FOR OTHERS SO THAT many may be saved. And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:31-34‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

The hierarchy of the church and the hierarchy of the family are alike. The heads of each are supposed to be leading examples of Christlikeness. They set the tone and give direction to the rest of the body.

As I read the words of Paul in chapter 11, verse two, I thought, “That is the desire of every man and woman in their mate. They want to be appreciated. They want the things that are important to them to be in the considerations of the other.”

I.e.: a husband who sees as important their preparation for the future, such as saving for retirement, appreciate’s when his wife is frugal and thoughtful in the way she handles household finances because she understands his need and desire and has adopted it as her own. At the same time, the wife appreciates when her husband remembers their now needs and does not focus so much on future planning that he cuts them short on their needs or does away with all present life comforts.

Just as the church should be unified in working together toward common goals, so should the family. It requires that we always keep each other in mind and heart so our decisions help the function of the whole. Each realizes that what one does effects the reputation and life journey of all others in that family body. For this to occur, communication is vital. Look at Paul’s words again.

“I appreciate and commend you because you ALWAYS REMEMBER ME in everything and KEEP FIRM POSSESSION OF the traditions (THE SUBSTANCE OF MY INSTRUCTIONS), just AS I HAVE [VERBALLY] PASSED THEM ON TO YOU.”

In the family, this communication is not just statements that proclaim my way as law. It is a discussion that comes to common understanding. In the example above, the husband instructs the wife on his intent to make sure they have a retirement portfolio that will provide for their elder years. The wife agrees with her husband’s lead and intent, but should feel free to express her concern that present life needs and reasonable comforts not be neglected. Together they come to an understanding of the plan and the need to work together toward a common goal: they possess the goal, each considering the sensibilities of the other, consulting together often on big needs and changes made, as they do their part in bringing their goals to pass.

When we achieve such unity of heart, mind, and purpose, what joy it is as we walk it out together.

Also read 1 Corinthians 10:1-11:2.

We are His KINGDOM People: In the World, Not OF It

As I watch the news today, my heart breaking for our nation as it steps farther from God, I find myself praying, “Here am I, O God. Help me to know how to be a Christian, in love with and serving You, being one who is in the world, but not OF the world.”

Today in this nation, same sex marriage gains approval in the court of human appeal. As one who believes God means it when He tells us that marriage is one man to one woman, having purpose in that union, it makes my heart sad to see this decision come to our nation. However, the thing that God reminds me of is the fact that God’s ways and Laws are given to distinguish those who are His from those belonging to the world. We are People OF His Kingdom, on assignment IN this world, charged not to be OF its system. Beloved of God, this world is dictated by a different wisdom and principles than God leads us to possess.

The world has every right to be the world. That is the nature of THE BEAST. Why are we so shocked when the world in which we live behaves in agreement with its nature? Our challenge is to remain in the nature God calls us to possess as people of His Kingdom.

The travesty is that too many of our children are going the way OF the world. That breaks my heart still more. However, Beloved, like it or not, this is their right of choice, given them by God.

“See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity; in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes AND HIS JUDGMENTS, that you may live and multiply, and that the Lord your God may bless you in the land where you are entering to possess it. But if your heart turns away and you will not obey, but are drawn away and worship other gods and serve them, I declare to you today that you shall surely perish. You will not prolong your days in the land where you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess it. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them” ~ Deuteronomy 30:15-20.

Our children and all those in each age have right of choice, to choose whether they will believe God, love Him and adhere to His ways, or whether they will serve the god of this world. What is our choice and responsibility as Kingdom people who are in the world, but not of it? As Paul said in his days of challenge, so must we say, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge” ~ Acts 4:19. We are responsible before God to make our choice and set an example for our children to follow. In so doing, as parents we are responsible to give our children the seeds of truth they need to possess so they can make their own, well-informed decision.

It is vital that we make a distinction between the ways of this world and those given us by God. Our children need to realize the choices set before them and the consequences when making them. They need to know that to choose God is to choose not to be of this world and its ways. They need to understand the difference available to us in God’s Kingdom. If we fail to help our children have understanding of what it is to be of God’s Kingdom, Children of the Royal court, tasked with eternal purpose, we will lose a generation of our children.

Watching the way of the world unfold and take hold in our nation is scary to me, for it signals failure to choose God and His way, which signals consequences that will come in behind those choices. That fear makes me want to lock my children and grandchildren away and protect them from this world. I want to make their choice for them to protect them from the fallout coming on the world. The problem is that God does not give me that right. He only grants to me the right and responsibility of a parent and grandparent tasked with setting a good example and training those He gives me in the ways and truths of the Lord.

Our nation is in trouble: not because I say so, but because God says so in His warning to those who follow Him, found and outlined throughout His word. The hope of our children lies with God, and we must do all we can to give them the resources they need to make the choice that is for their best “today” and their eternal destiny.

Beloved, our nation is in trouble because it chooses more and more to go the way of this world’s system, and that is the fulfillment of prophesy long ago warned of as the end of days draws ever closer to its conclusion. The question is, are we following God as Kingdom People, or are we toying with life as part of the world and its philosophy, afraid of taking our stand with God for fear of losing our position in this life or connection with those in it?

“Now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, we will serve the Lord” ~ Joshua 24:14-15.

We each have our choice to make. Choose today whom you will serve and be the people of God’s Kingdom despite the ways of this world. In that decision, be head under God in your own home, refusing to allow the ways of the world to find refuge there. Realize, parent, that the father of the prodigal had to release the son to the world for a time, allowing him his fill so he could realize the caregivers in charge of hogs have it better in the Father’s house than one can have in the world. We all must die to self before resurrection in Christ can come. They must make their choice just as we had to do.

Our choices have consequences, be it blessing or curse. Our nation in this world is toying with the curse, in keeping with the dictates of this world. However, Beloved, the world has no hold on us who are the Blessed and Beloved People of God’s Kingdom. Walk as Children of Light (Ephesians 5:7-10; 1 Peter 2:9-10).

“…Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE Lord, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ” ~ 1 Corinthians 2:12-16 (read 1 Corinthians 1-2).

Possess Your Own Vessel (Body)

“Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to HOW YOU OUGHT TO WALK AND PLEASE GOD (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For THIS IS THE WILL OF GOD, YOUR SANCTIFICATION; that is, that you ABSTAIN FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY; that each of you KNOW HOW TO POSSESS HIS OWN VESSEL in sanctification and honor, NOT IN LUSTFUL PASSION, like the Gentiles WHO DO NOT KNOW GOD; And That No Man Transgress And Defraud His Brother In The Matter Because The Lord Is The Avenger In All These Things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, HE WHO REJECTS THIS IS NOT REJECTING MAN BUT THE GOD who gives His Holy Spirit to you” ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.

Sexual immorality is rampant in our day, even among those who belong to God. Adultery, fornication, incest, pornography, homosexuality, rape and molestation of innocence: all these are addressed in God’s Word as being against His will for us, and we see it all in our day, in ever increasing prevalence, even among the people of God. I believe all these perversions of God’s ideal way sicken the heart of God who calls us to sanctification that has a vital purpose.

The institution of marriage and the act of marriage, as God intended it to be, is a picture of what our relationship is supposed to be like with our Holy God. It is the giving of oneself fully to one person, able to so greatly trust that person that we can be “naked” – fully exposed before them. Such intimacy is not meant to be shared with any other than the one we are intended for, the one we are to spend our life with. In likeness to our relationship with the One True God, we are to be saved and kept for the one we are meant to be with for all time.

Even to look on another so as to lust after them, which is the business of pornography, is to sin against God and against His holy institution. Premarital experience and fleshly lust rob of experiencing God’s best for us in our relationships and it hinders our ability to trust each other, which is vital to true intimacy. I know this for a fact, not only because of what the Spirit has taught me in God’s word, but unfortunately because of personal experience.

I was sexually active in my youth, not having anyone to teach me these things. I married unwisely to get out of that lifestyle and that marriage ended in divorce. When God brought my husband into my life – and He did! He has made this clear to us in many ways through our years – I struggled over my past as I began to learn the truth of God’s ideal. It hindered our intimacy for a long time, until God healed me of the consequence of my sin, delivering me from the guilt and shame, and set me free indeed. It is my hope in sharing these things that I can spare some of you the pain and struggle.

The pre-marital impurity done by or to those still waiting for their mate-in-Christ is the commission of sin against our Holy God and that intended mate. It is also sin against one’s own flesh, and I am not just talking about STDs or out of wedlock pregnancy.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases and the potential for pregnancy are just part of the consequences we can face. Sexual intimacy with another gets into the depths of our being. When we do find our mate, flashbacks of previous experiences can hit our hearts to bring us to shame. It can keep us from satisfaction with our mates and hinder our healing from that past.

With every act that is not sanctified and set apart in keeping self for one’s future partner, we do harm to these vital relationships as it affects our very personalities and expectations for marital relations. Needing to “practice” so we will be ready for our mate, knowing how to satisfy them, is a lie straight out of hell.

No two people are alike. What one likes and expects, another will abhor. If you “practice” with one and like certain things, then marry another who does not like those same things, you will be constantly dissatisfied with your mate, ill-equipped to satisfy them, and frequently tempted to go back to where your desires can be met. Sexual relations is one area where ignorance is bliss. If you come together in innocence and learn to please each other, you will be satisfied together. When you grow in your intimacy together, learn what each likes, and minister to each other’s needs, that very intimacy satiates desire and makes you one flesh together, protecting you from desire for another.

Realize, beloved one, that until a couple marries, they do not yet know that they will be married. Anything can happen to stop our plans for marriage between the proposal and the “I do”; so “we are getting married” is not a license to take to ourselves the privilege of marriage before we are legitimately wed together. TRUE LOVE WAITS! This false belief that “engaged” is the same as “married” has ruined the gift of purity for many young couples. From the instant of that first kiss of longing that makes one want to touch, all the way to the actual penetration, all of that act of intimacy is sex! It is a gift to be given on the wedding night, AFTER the “I do” is done. Scripturally, marriage does not begin until the parents give the bride to the groom and all human legalities that define marriage are fulfilled.

The next portion of our passage, “That No Man Transgress And Defraud His Brother In The Matter Because The Lord Is The Avenger In All These Things” speaks to me of the insult we do to others through failing to possess our own vessels in sanctity for our marriage partner.

Defraud: to use deceit, falsehoods, or trickery to obtain money, an object, rights or anything of value belonging to another. From the premarital encounter that destroys the gift of purity meant for another, to rape, sexual immorality done with another’s mate or against one’s own mate, any sin of immorality that is done by force against another ~ all of these are transgressions that defraud another. And all of these defraud God, for in that instant we insult the One who loves us most and rob Him of our wholehearted intimacy with Him as God and Lord.

If we are His child, such acts grieve and quench the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. Since God is always with and for the believer, we cause pain to His Holy Presence, who is made to experience our sin by virtue of His intimate knowledge of us. Such acts do great harm to our relationship with Him. And it is an act of blasphemy, as it gives God’s name in us, “Christian”, a bad reputation.

I believe the “brother” in this statement toward those we defraud could be translated “brethren,” which would mean: our brothers and sisters in Christ; our family and those we are kin to; those of the same people group; any people whose lives are touched by our sin. Even the angels in heaven who are watching God’s people and the triune-God with whom we are one are adversely affected by our sin.

When we commit adultery, we sin not only with the person we partner with in the act, but we sin against their present or future mate, their children, and all who will be touched by the pain of the consequences brought about by the sin done and exposed to light. And what does it say? “The Lord is the avenger in all things.” So the consequences that come against us because of our sin come from the very hand of God. STDs that destroy our bodies; out of wedlock pregnancies that sideline our plans for the future; marriages ended because of hurt and lack of trust; these consequences and more are allowed by God because of our sin. HE WHO REJECTS THIS IS NOT REJECTING MAN BUT GOD.

Pray as God leads you today for yourself, those you love, and all God brings to your heart today. If you have committed these sins already, repent, stop what you are doing, get right with God and seek godly council to help you correctly deal with the sin done.

Pray for the body of Christ to be sanctified and set apart in purity, delivered from perversion, and to know how to possess their own body in obedience to the Father. It is better to be a eunuch by choice than to commit acts of such sin and face the wrath of our Holy God.

Jesus-Bride006If you are one who has been hurt by such sin, forgive for your own sake, so that you can be in right standing with God, able to get His perspective on the issue, and seek godly council to help you find healing and strength to carry on. Unforgiveness, bitterness and anger will hurt you! Do not hold on to these but seek the healing power of God to equip you to entrust these hurts to Him.

Whichever side of the insult you are on, beloved, whether the sinner or the one sinned against, God will heal you. He will enable you to love and to trust again as you seek His face and His grace, which is sufficient for ALL THINGS. And, as I can attest to, His healing can establish your ability to experience true intimacy with your mate, renewing the gift He intended you to give to each other alone.

The Stand ~ Hillsong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV5iZBTNYrk&list=PLfiEjLIYhJ9BycuYe34CTDe-q9HZzszNs&index=4

Love is Not Jealous

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NLT.

This is one of those passages that, without the Holy Spirit to instruct us, makes scripture look like it is contradictory. Here it says that “love is not jealous”. But “God is love” and God, “whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God”. So what’s up with that? (1 John 4:8; Exodus 34:14)

As I read it this morning, I see the movie “Sleeping with the Enemy” in these words of instruction. You see, God does love us fully, and He is only jealous when we take other gods in His place. For example, God does not mind that I really love and cater to my husband, because He knows my heart has Him in first place even as I love on my man. In fact, it is my love for God that thoroughly equips me to love my man in right ways. But when Father slips to second place in my affections and loyalty, that is what leads to Him becoming jealous over me. I have given myself to Him as my First Love. I belong to Him even before my husband. And He has every right to be jealous when I take that part of me that is His alone and I give it to another.

The jealousy spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13 is not a righteous jealousy, like when God is jealous. It is unreasonable. That type of jealousy says, “If you even look at another, though you are innocent in intent, I will lash out at you with jealous fervor.” This jealousy refuses to trust the love of another. It is suspicious, accusing, and vicious. It has nothing to do with truth or true love, and everything to do with unrighteous possessiveness that too often and easily seeks to rule over the object of its wrath, demanding to be as a god in their lives. It is unreasonable and only truly giving of love to self as it either demands its own way at the expense of the need of the other, or it holds oneself back from the other out of false perceptions that breed insecurity in the relationship.

Unrighteous jealousy can lash out in obvious ways, like the enemy Julia Roberts’ character found herself sleeping with, or it can be more subtle, like so many of us who are sneaky in our ire. Joyce Meyer often tells of when she was jealous of the time her husband spent enjoying sports, how she would decide to vacuum the floor in the room where he was trying to watch a game. We can be sneaky in our jealous tempers, but it is as evil toward the one we profess to love as when those who are overtly jealous beat their mate for their perceived offence, because jealousy of this type breeds discord, hardship, bitterness and anger.

Do I have a right to be jealous if my husband enters into a bad relationship with another woman, or even with an overboard focus on sporting events that rob me of him? You bet I do. We have a license that makes us exclusive as a couple both with God and with man, and we each have right to the others time and attention. There are certain ways in which he is mine alone, and I alone have right to him in those areas of life. There has been a time when I had to warn him that I could tell that another woman was after him, and he was shocked when he discovered it was true. Forewarned was forearmed and he stood faithful. Instead of the other woman’s obvious attraction to my man making me jealous in harmful ways, I knew my rights and was used of God to prepare my mate for the challenge by simply mentioning that she was enamored with him and he needed to be on the alert. I did not badger him or make demands of him. I simply warned him. He was honestly shocked and could not believe it, but when her advances took a clear turn, he was ready with the right response.

My husband went from working mostly with men to a job where he is working with a lot of women and there have been times when I had to deal with the green-eyed monster within; but there have also been times when the jealousy I felt had a righteous seed to it. When he started this job he worked with a very friendly, fun loving man, who was very flirtatious toward women. On one occasion I observed my husband seemingly to fall into that flirtatious fun. Yes, I had to fight off a little jealousy there, and with the Lord’s help, when we were alone, I gently told him that his joking around with them came off to me as flirting. I told him those single women are in the market and that they could well perceive the “fun” as flirting, just as I did, and think he is available, which could end in temptation for him. My husband had an obvious Tim-the-tool-man, aha moment that changed the way he behaves.

Jealousy can be a warning that leads us to realize and take action in protecting our rights, or it can be an ungodly emotion that leads us to behave in ways we have no right to. This emotion we often deal with requires the Spirit of God to instruct us in realizing which jealousy we are in and how to properly address the issue at hand.

So there are two lessons in today’s ponderings:

One, jealousy can be a righteous right, but often is unrighteous and destructive when we fail to get God’s heart on the issue. It is important that we discern the difference and follow God’s example and the Spirit’s lead so we give true love to those around us.

And two, scripture can appear to contradict itself, thus we need the Rabbi-Spirit to instruct our hearts so we know the truth that sets free indeed and realize the continuity of God’s teachings.

The Gift

Truth about sensuality, sex, and marriage.

Watch video: Touching Animation of a Dying Man’s Final Words of Love to His Wife – True Story!

There is something important I want to tell my grandchildren, and the video above sets it off. Watch the video and note the gift of love shared in a life together.

Kids, Meeme loves you, so I am going to speak quite frankly to you about a difficult subject: sex and marriage.

Jesus-Bride001The sensual intimacy of sex, when approached God’s way, is beautiful and fulfilling. It is the greatest, deepest level of giving one’s self to another that can be shared. God has given you one gift that you can give back to Him and to one other in life: that gift is all-that-you-are; the greater depths of the intimate expression of yourself out of love for another.

You will give a part of yourself to many people throughout life, as needs arise and God inspires you to for their encouragement and to help those people through a time in their life. You can give encouragement to many; you can give love to all; you can give expressions of emotions in time of need: but all you are in mind, heart, emotion, thought, sensuality, will, soul, strength belongs to only two, God and the mate He brings to you.

The one part of you that God requires you save for Him and your mate is your sensuality: that special intimacy that is deep and abiding. That part of you that becomes one-flesh with the one with whom you share it. When we fall to temptation to give any part of our sensual self to another before we are united as one in God, we lose a part of ourselves that cannot be fully restored. When you give any part of your sexuality to another outside of marriage, you link with that one in a way that will forever haunt you to rob of the joy of intimacy with God and the husband or wife He has for you.

What the world calls “petting” takes part of the gift God has given you for sharing with husband or wife and robs the purity of the gift.

The pornography many turn to causes expectations that can destroy our ability to fully give self, or to give sincere acceptance of the one who gives themselves to us. Porn gives a false impression of how people should look, how the act of marriage should be experienced, and it robs of the beauty of the emotional connection that marital union should possess.

And by the way, oral sex is still sex.

Do not let the devil lie to you and tell you that as long as you have sex with the belief that you are one in God that you are married of heart and it is okay. If that were the case, there would be no need of the law that says fornication is sin (1). There is a ritual that is seen over and over through scripture that designates two as married to become one in unity with God. That picture is the giving of the bride to the groom by the father.

We see this in the Garden of Eden as God, the Father of Eve, gives her to Adam to be his wife and helpmeet, the completion of him as they become one in union (Genesis 2).

We see it as the servant goes to get a bride for Isaac from the people of Abraham. The head of household, Rebekah’s brother, in the absence of her father, and her mother, after making sure she was agreed to the union, gave her to be wed to Isaac (Genesis 24).

It is seen when Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, after being raped by Shechem, was given to him as his wife. They were not married by the rape or sex act, they were married by the giving of the bride to the groom (Genesis 34).

I believe Jacob chose to give her to spare her the shame for something that was not her fault. Back then the shame of the loss of virginity by choice or by force made a young girl less than likely to be chosen as a wife, as they were considered impure. Jacob’s eldest two sons disagreed with Jacob’s decision and used the agreement between Jacob and Hamor, king of the land and father of the groom, which required them to be circumcised, as opportunity to kill the men and get Dinah back. They lost their birthright because of their breaking of the covenant of marriage made by Jacob.

The giving of the bride is also seen as Jesus prepares to give His final sacrifice as kinsman redeemer of all mankind. Those who follow Him are often depicted as the Bride of Christ. In His prayer in John 17, He says in verse 6, “I have manifested Your name to the men whom You gave Me out of the world; they were Yours and You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word.” We are told in scripture that none may enter into relationship with Christ unless the Spirit of God woos or draws them (John 6:44). God, the Father, gives the Bride of Christ to the Groom, Jesus.

Until your earthly father, parents, or guardian give you in marriage to your groom, sensual relations are fornication or adultery, a sin Jesus-Bride006against God and against your own body and the groom or bride God has for you.

You are a precious gift of God to us, but you have right to give all that you are to only two, God and the beloved He has for you to marry and become one in unity of flesh; and only then after you are given by right and ritual. And no one has the right to steal that gift from you. Protect that gift. It is precious. Realize the joy of this gift God has given you, and keep it wrapped for the one who shows that they love you enough to wait and do things God’s way.

You are constant in my prayers!

Much love,

Meeme

PS: If you have fallen or been fallen upon, God has provided a way for cleansing and rebirth of spiritual virginity in Christ. As Jesus said to the woman He helped to escape stoning, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more” (John 8:1-11). Consider your renewal in Christ, remember His grace when times of haunting come, and hold yourself for Him alone and the one He has for you to spend your life with as one flesh together with Him.

Definitions:

Fornication: two unmarried people in sexual relations.

Adultery: two partners in sexual sin, not married to each other, but at least one of them married to another person.